There are three types of square in Scientopoly that require the player to take the top card of a shuffled pile and abide by its instructions. There are two of each kind, six in all. These are Awards, which benefit the player; Penalties, which don't benefit the player; and Chance, which could be either. Listed below are the standard cards, which are subject to change. You are welcome to write your own, of course.

The item numbers do not really matter if playing face to face over a proper board. But in the spreadsheet version the built-in random number generator will generate a number between 1 and (currently) 13, and the text corresponding to that number will appear on the front page of the board.

The financial amounts are given here in $, but use £ or € as needed.


  1. Your entire Scientology library and E-meters finally sold on Ebay, and here is your $100. Don't spend it all at once.
  2. John Travolta has sent back your payment for $200 and says thanks very much for the kind thought but you probably need it more than he does.
  3. The IAS Class Action suit finally came though and the lawyers got most of it. But here is your $300.
  4. Your refund check for $8000 came through, less a 95% admin fee. So you get $400.
  5. Your old FSM was doing a liability formula and had to pay some of the money he owes you. Here is $500, the least he could get away with.
  6. Your spouse is doing Repair of Past Ethics conditions for killing you last lifetime, and reckons $600 should cover it (allowing for compound interest since 1863).
  7. Your uncle George decided you are worth giving stuff to after all. Here is $700.
  8. Marty paid your $800 refund on time as promised and he would love to have y'all visit again any time.
  9. Tom Cruise has sent you a check for $900 to please stop posting about him.
  10. Here is $1000 to settle that old business with the staff volunteer pay. You have to sign a waiver if you want to cash it.
  11. Get out of SP Hole. Tuck this card away until you need it. Not transferable and one-time use only.
  12. Yes! Jump one status level right now. No monetary value.
  13. Woo-hoo! Jump two status levels right now. No monetary value.


  1. Tony Ortega wrote an article in The Village Voice about you and you get to buy drinks. Give $100 each to the other players.
  2. It's Tom Cruise's birthday. DM is collecting the money for it. Charge $200 now.
  3. There is a threat to religious freedom in Burkina Faso. Charge $300 now.
  4. The psychs are having a conference. You need to contribute towards the wog rent-a-picket. Charge $400 now.
  5. The unprecedented expansion in Tuvalu needs your support. Charge $500 towards a Volunteer Minister's airfare.
  6. The Mark VIII E-meters rusting in the Bridge warehouse need a makeover. You have been selected to help. Charge $600.
  7. Your tell-all book got cancelled by the publisher and you must find a new one. Charge $700.
  8. It's DM's birthday, his official one not his personal one — that was earlier. Charge $800.
  9. Your priest-penitent confidential confessional write-up somehow ended up in the local paper and you need to do damage control. Charge $900.
  10. It's nearly holiday time. Charge $1000 now towards DM's next scuba-diving excursion.
  11. You're declared. Go directly to SP Hole. Do not pass Go.
  12. Lose one status level immediately.
  13. Lose two status levels at once.


  1. On babysitting watch — don't do anything else.
  2. On heavy babysitting watch — don't do anything else for your next turn either.
  3. CMO Mission arrives. Go back three spaces.
  4. CMO Mission leaves. Go forward three spaces.
  5. Your last auditors has been declared and those sessions need redoing. Go down two statuses.
  6. You are going to watch DM being taken to jail in handcuffs. Charge $600 airfare.
  7. Your folders are being culled for dirt at RTC. That's it on this turn and your next turn too.
  8. You had a dirty needle on a meter check. You get away with paying only $800 for a cheap Review to sort it out.
  9. Someone has anonymously sent you three sets of the basics! You sell them on eBay. Credit $40.
  10. Amnesty! Advance to Go. Your credit limit is raised the usual $1000.
  11. Arbitraries have been cancelled! You did unnecessary actions. Go up three statuses.
  12. Another previously undiscovered LRH HCOB has been found! Advance to Flag 3 now and pay the service fee if it's open for business.
  13. Arbitraries have been cancelled! Your folders have been reviewed and you must go down two statuses to redo your last steps.